I have not been alone for over 23 years. Husbands and children have been fixtures in my life for so long, I am not sure how to be alone. Certainly, being with others does not prevent loneliness; sometimes I feel lonely with all the activity broiling around me. But the next few weeks, with Maya at camp and not regularly accessible, and Tara in London and incommunicado much of the time, and Eric consumed by his work in Woods Hole, I will be entirely alone in my house for over two weeks. My friend Emily thinks it is wonderful and believes I will enjoy every minute. The freedom to engage in any activity at any time (within the constraints of work hours of course) makes me giddy. So many possibilities. Of course, I am supposed to be seeing patients and packing up the house, so my freedom is limited, but I will be more free than I am accustomed to being, and that will be entirely new and exciting.
I miss Maya already. We have been preparing her for camp all week, her new suitcase filled to over flowing, every detail on her list accounted for. She is apprehensive about camp, her first time truly away form her parents in her lifetime. She is irritable and skittish, but being a good sport, and readying herself for the plunge. I cannot imagine a night, and evening, a morning without her. My days revolve around her schedule and her needs and her wishes. I listen to her concert daily as she practices her violin, I watch her dance, I empathize with her pain when she is doing her homework, I organize playdates, and we go to concerts and plays and movies and the opera. She is my constant companion and she is funny and entertaining and loving and interesting and wraps me around her little finger at all times.
No more demands or rules or limitations.....except of course for work and packing. I have no idea what I will do....but I will try to enjoy it!
I miss Maya already. We have been preparing her for camp all week, her new suitcase filled to over flowing, every detail on her list accounted for. She is apprehensive about camp, her first time truly away form her parents in her lifetime. She is irritable and skittish, but being a good sport, and readying herself for the plunge. I cannot imagine a night, and evening, a morning without her. My days revolve around her schedule and her needs and her wishes. I listen to her concert daily as she practices her violin, I watch her dance, I empathize with her pain when she is doing her homework, I organize playdates, and we go to concerts and plays and movies and the opera. She is my constant companion and she is funny and entertaining and loving and interesting and wraps me around her little finger at all times.
No more demands or rules or limitations.....except of course for work and packing. I have no idea what I will do....but I will try to enjoy it!
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